“Mom, I am going home” were words spoken matter of factly by my then 20-year-old daughter. The very sound of them brought a heaviness to my heart and confirmation of truth I had not wanted to admit. The fact that they were spoken without regard to the pain they were causing added salt to the wound. A wound inflicted by the truth that I was now an empty nester.
The transition from being a mom of teens to one of young adults was not as easy as I expected. I was somewhat sensitive to the idea that “home” could describe any other place than where I was and where my children grew up. Though my hope was not that my children would stay at home forever, I did not anticipate that “cutting the apron strings” would leave me sad. My sad emotional state was closely tied to my thoughts which needed some adjustment. My thoughts were the tracks on which my emotions ran, so my emotions derailed when reality contradicted those thoughts. Thoughts that my kids would always want to come home or they would consistently seek my counsel and company elicited pleasant feelings in me until reality forced them to a screeching halt. The “sound” of that reality was so loud that my heart was ringing. Life was not matching up to what was in my head. So, I knew I needed to line my head up to what was true. I needed to focus on the truth that would comfort my aching heart and remind my head of what to expect honestly. I needed to remind myself that this was not my home.
John 14:2-3 says, “In My Father’s house are many dwelling places. If it were not so, I would have told you for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you unto Myself that where I am, there you may be also.” I am going home to a place prepared for me because I am a stranger just passing through. It has occurred to me that we raise our children to be independent, but God raises His children to be dependent on Him. God raises us to come home. When my thinking lined up to this fact, life’s passing seasons took on new meaning. My time here is short but full of the blessings God allows, namely Nathan and Abby, my children. My home will forever be theirs. It will be a place for them and their loved ones to come to and be loved. But, my actual home awaits for me (and for them) prepared so that where He is, I will also be. It is a comforting thought to know that when I finally say, “I am going home,” it will be to a place where I was raised to live, not just for a season, but for eternity.
Good stuff!