In the summer of 2011, I sensed the Lord leading me to enter an extended period of fasting and praying for my church. At the time, I was the pastor of a First Baptist church in a county seat town in north Alabama. My family had moved there in 2008, all the way from South Alabama. My children were in a crucial time of life, with one entering high school and one entering middle school. The move was difficult since they both left established friends and schools. They both quickly adapted to the new school and a new church, and I set about the task of learning about my new congregation.
On the surface, all seemed great with my new position as pastor. The staff seemed cohesive, having served together for several years. The church is located on half of a city block in the downtown area and was a long-standing landmark in the community. The facilities were beautiful, with a newly renovated worship center. All the ingredients seemed to be there for a successful ministry.
However, after just three short years, signs of trouble on the horizon became visible. Attendance and giving had suffered a slump. Staff members who appeared to be united found themselves in a seemingly irreconcilable conflict. Unveiled threats from two deacons emerged, promising changes would be made if things didn’t get better. I was concerned about the church’s health and determined to lead toward revival through the spiritual process of brokenness and repentance. My desire to fast for an extended period of forty days was something I had never experienced. I wanted scriptural confirmation of this stirring in my heart to accomplish something I knew was not possible in the strength of my flesh. That is when I read Deuteronomy 8:2-3.
2 You shall remember all the way which the Lord your God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you, testing you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not.
3 He humbled you and let you be hungry, and fed you with manna which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that He might make you understand that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of the Lord.
Indeed, I thought the Lord was leading me to fast since he humbled His people in the wilderness and let them be hungry. Little did I know that the forty-day fast would prepare me to be humbled by a forced termination in January of 2012. So, after preparing for a couple of weeks by eating less, and getting my doctor to approve an extended, juice only fast, I began my journey.
I could list all the reasons that I thought brought about my termination, but the actual conclusion is that God allowed me to be humbled. The reasons, or what I thought they were, don’t seem as important now as they did back then. I can now see that the Lord had a simple mission to accomplish. He wanted to make me a better man, husband, father, and pastor, and he did that by humbling me. He tested me and my obedience through what seemed like forty years. I spent seven years in secular employment, trying all the while to remember the way back to fruitful, fulfilling ministry. Throughout those years, Deuteronomy 8:2-3 was reinforced in my heart. Those verses have spoken to me for the last decade, now, reminding me that God leads through difficult times and faithfully guides us back to where He wants us to be. I went from being hungry to being humbled, and finally, to being whole again.
Remember the Way is a ministry for ministers and their spouses, just like myself and my wife, Kathi. In the days immediately following termination, I didn’t know what to do or anyone to talk to who understood our position. Kathi and I were devastated. Our children were hurt and confused. Only one pastor in the community contacted me to offer counsel and support. We felt alone in a town we came to serve but did not feel we could immediately move our children again.
Remember the Way offers services for you if you have experienced a traumatic ministry experience and are seeking the Lord to help you remember the way back.
This site will offer resources, articles, videos, and biblical instruction for those seeking to remember the way back to ministry.
Kathi and I would be happy to meet you. We offer what we call ICU for ministers and spouses. We will meet with you over the phone, on Zoom, FaceTime, or in person. We will be glad to bring you to our home in Belmont, Mississippi, to hear your story, tell you more of ours, and to offer initial support and counsel through those difficult times of sorting out your life after termination or resignation for any reason whatsoever.
Please feel free to reach out to us. We look forward to hearing from you and helping you and your family Remember the Way.
-Barry
The site looks great!